Spend a few minutes online and you will see the clips: a green-haired, nonbinary pastor, a rainbow-draped congregation, Scripture bent to mirror the culture. Then comes the predictable response—a conservative Christian explaining what’s wrong.
It is not the distortion of Christianity. It is the dilution of it.
Those moments are easy. The problem is obvious. Most Christians, even young ones, can tell something is off. But there is a deeper issue that never goes viral, because it is quieter, harder to spot, and far easier to accept. It is not the distortion of Christianity. It is the dilution of it.
I grew up in churches that looked faithful. The pastor was polished. The sermons were structured. The message was rarely offensive. If you listened carefully, very little that was said was technically untrue. That is precisely why the problem is so easy to miss. What mattered more than what was said was what was not said.
I was not trained in discipline, obedience, or repentance.
I heard about loving your neighbor. I heard about being kind, patient, and forgiving. Those are biblical commands. No honest Christian would deny that.
But I was rarely taught how to love God with heart, soul and mind in a way that shaped my daily life. I was not trained in discipline, obedience, or repentance. I was not shown how to connect Sunday teaching to Monday decisions. Most importantly, I was never taught that my faith was grounded in truth that could be examined, defended, and lived with confidence.
So, when I got to choose, I walked away. Not because I had carefully weighed Christianity and rejected it, but because I had never been formed in it.
Christianity that feels compassionate but lacks depth.
In Matthew 22, Jesus provides a specific order: Love God first, then your neighbor. When that order is softened or reversed, the result is a version of Christianity that feels compassionate but lacks depth. It produces people who are encouraged but not equipped. It transforms churches into a Rotary Club with a steeple.
The New Testament consistently points beyond encouragement to formation. That assumes something many churches quietly neglect: discipleship is intentional. It requires teaching people not just what to believe, but how to live. Without that, a church can be busy, friendly, and even well-intentioned while still failing in its central task.
Jesus’ famous warning about the sheep and the goats should give us pause. Both groups call him Lord. Both appear to belong. The difference is not in their language, but in the reality of their lives. One reflects genuine allegiance. The other does not.
A church can avoid heresy and still fail to make disciples.
That is not a warning aimed only at the obvious wayward. It is a warning to anyone who assumes that their proximity to Christians and use of the right type of Christian language means that they are a true disciple. A church can avoid heresy and still fail to make disciples.
It can preach sermons that are accurate in content but thin in application. It can emphasize love of neighbor while neglecting the priority of loving God. It can create an environment where people feel encouraged but are never challenged to grow.
Over time, that produces a kind of spiritual drift, like a car with misaligned tires. People may feel secure but are not grounded enough in truth to withstand pressure. Eventually, they are off the road and think they belong there.
When culture pushes, they do not stand. They leave. Most simply disengage. Sometimes, like me, they say Christianity did not work, without realizing they were never taught how to live it.
We need rightly ordered love.
Christians do not need less or more love. We need rightly ordered love. Love for God that is clear, taught and practiced. Love for neighbor that flows from that foundation, not replaces it.
We need churches that train. Churches that connect belief to action. Churches that take seriously the responsibility to prepare people for the reality of life outside the sanctuary. Because the measure of a church is not the dollars, the number of baptisms, the amount of services or people fed at a local charity, but how well it forms its members for the rest of the week.
The obvious distortions of Christianity will always draw attention. They are easy to spot and easy to critique. The quieter failure is harder. It looks familiar. It sounds safe. It often feels comfortable. But if it leaves people unformed, unprepared and unable to stand, it is no less serious. And it is long past time for us to shift our orientation.
Peter Demos is the president and CEO of Demos’ Brands and Demos Family Kitchen. A Christian business leader from Tennessee, Demos uses his biblical perspective and insight gained from his own struggles to lead others to truth and authenticity in a broken world. Demos is the author of “On the Duty of Christian Civil Disobedience,” “Afraid to Trust” and new book “Bold Not Belligerent.” To learn more, visit peterdemos.org.
