In the world of athletics, the pressure to prove is relentless. Athletes try to earn starting spots, coaches try to build winning programs and everyone hopes to earn respect from teammates, fans and parents. The message is loud and clear: prove your value. Earn your worth.
What would it look like if we competed, coached, and lived not for love, but from love?
What if the most important things about us (our worth, identity and value) have already been proven? What would it look like if we competed, coached, and lived not for love, but from love?
Here is the good news: we are loved wholly and unconditionally by the one who created us. We don’t need to earn his love or chase approval through performance. Christ is love, and in him we have an identity we could not earn ourselves and can never lose.
Coaches and athletes are high performers wired to pursue and achieve high goals. Our drive can be a good thing, but it can also lead us to look for love and validation in places that were never meant to hold the weight of our identity.
We try to prove we matter by:
- Who we date—we often think a specific relationship will make us feel complete or valuable.
- Who we impress—we hope our performance earns affirmation from coaches, parents and teammates.
- What we achieve—we measure our worth by stats, scholarships, titles or recognition.
- How we escape—we overindulge in passions, hobbies or even addictions to numb the ache of not feeling enough.
Trying to prove our worth through love or success will always leave us empty.
Trying to prove our worth through love or success will always leave us empty. Just ask King Solomon, who knew this feeling well. He writes:
“All that my eyes desired, I did not deny them. I did not refuse myself any pleasure, for I took pleasure in all my struggles. This was my reward for all my struggles. When I considered all that I had accomplished and what I had labored to achieve, I found everything to be futile and a pursuit of the wind. There was nothing to be gained under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 2:10-11 CSB)
King Solomon had wealth, pleasure and power, yet he still felt empty.
We might ask ourselves, Why am I doing this? Is it a fear of being forgotten? Is it because I am trying to prove someone wrong? Or could it be that I am trying to finally feel like I am enough?
Those motivations can push us to work harder, but they don’t lead to peace. God never designed us to live that way. He didn’t create us to earn love. He made us receive it. There is a hole in our heart that only God can fill.
We don’t work for love; we work from love.
Scripture reminds us: we don’t work for love; we work from love: “But God proves his own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8 CSB)
Before Jesus performed any miracles, taught the Word, or engaged in public ministry, God said, "'This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well-pleased.'" (Matthew 3:17 CSB)
God declared his love for his son before Jesus had done anything that could be considered impressive. God offers us the same love.
Understanding the depth of God’s love is where freedom begins.
His love is not based on what we do, but on who he is. Understanding the depth of God’s love is where freedom begins. When we live loved, no shame, guilt, or condemnation can hold us down, and we become the vessels God uses to show others what a personal relationship with him looks like.
“This is my command: Love one another as I have loved you.” (John 15:12 CSB)
When we know our Heavenly Father loves us:
- We feel valued, seen and heard.
- We can stop chasing worldly affirmation because we already have the approval that matters most.
- We can freely love others without expecting something in return.
- We reflect His love in our sport and with our people.
We love our team out of the overflow of the love we have already received.
God loved us first, not because we performed well, prayed hard, or lived perfectly. He loved us in our weakness, failure, and insecurity. That’s real love, anchored in his nature, not our track records. As coaches and players, we love our team out of the overflow of the love we have already received.
Coaches, may you lead confidently in your calling, knowing your identity isn’t in your record, reputation, or ability to motivate. God sees you, not just your role. You are loved by God, right now and always. When you lead from love instead of for love, you create a culture of joy, grace, and excellence.
Athletes, may you play free, love strongly and pursue your sport with joy, not pressure. Your value isn’t measured according to the scoreboard, the stats or someone else’s eyes. Your value is secure in Jesus.
While the world chases after approval, we rest in Christ, who calls us his "Beloved".
Mindy Lee Hopman is an author, communicator, and curriculum specialist who serves with FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) in Florida as the Regional Director of Field Ministry. She leads [THE] Huddle: for women, which is a resource created for female athletes, coaches, and coaches’ spouses. As a headmaster’s wife, Mindy and her husband Jon have raised two of their own collegiate athletes and many others through their years in a boarding school community. Mindy’s passion is helping coaches and athletes discover their true identity in Jesus and understand how their faith stories connect to the greatest story of all time.
