Pornography has silently infiltrated the pews of churches worldwide, leaving behind deep scars on individuals, marriages, and ministries. In the first part of this series, Covenant Eyes’ Director of Life Change Education, Sam Black, shared how his own grace-filled journey toward freedom became the foundation of his calling to help others. In this second installment, Black reflects on the spiritual, relational, and neurological impact of pornography, why it thrives in secrecy, and how accountability can transform lives.
Black, who has edited more than a dozen books and authored The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong about Pornography and How to Fix It, says the conversation must shift from shame and silence to one of healing, discipleship, and hope.
The hidden epidemic
For decades, pornography has been treated as an uncomfortable subject best avoided in polite church conversation. But Black says this silence has allowed the problem to spread unchecked.
“I think most people are shocked to learn how widespread this is in the church,” he said. “Pastors are struggling. Leaders are struggling. Young people are exposed at earlier and earlier ages. And yet, many feel they have nowhere to turn.”
A growing body of research confirms that pornography use is common among Christians, not just in the wider culture. While the statistics vary, the pattern is unmistakable: exposure starts young, compulsive use affects both men and women, and secrecy allows the issue to grow in power.
“The lack of conversation in church creates an environment where isolation deepens,” Black said. “Secrecy is the oxygen pornography needs. When people believe they can’t speak about it, the struggle intensifies.”
For Black, these are not just abstract numbers. They represent families fractured, ministers disqualified, and believers who wrestle with guilt and despair. “Every time I speak with a pastor or a parent who tells me they thought they were alone in this battle, it reinforces the need to break the stigma,” he said.
More than a moral issue
While the church often frames pornography as primarily a moral failing, Black emphasizes that its impact reaches far deeper, reshaping both brain and heart.
“When you look at the research, pornography is not just a spiritual or moral problem. It literally reshapes the brain. Neural pathways are carved that reinforce compulsive patterns. It hijacks the same systems designed for bonding and intimacy,” he explained.
Pornography’s grip is partly rooted in how the brain processes pleasure and reward. Each exposure floods the brain with dopamine, the same chemical involved in learning and motivation. Over time, the brain becomes desensitized, driving the user to seek more extreme or novel content to achieve the same effect.
“This is why simply telling people to stop rarely works,” Black said. “Their brain has been rewired to crave what it was never meant to handle. Healing requires not just willpower, but renewal—spiritually, relationally, and neurologically.”
In The Healing Church, Black bridges the gap between science and faith, showing how discipleship and accountability help restore broken neural patterns. “God designed our brains to be plastic, capable of change. When we replace destructive habits with healthy rhythms, the brain rewires again. That’s where hope comes in,” he said.
The cycle of shame
One of the most damaging dynamics, Black believes, is the cycle of shame that traps those struggling.
“Shame tells you that you are the only one, that if people really knew you, they would reject you. It drives people back into isolation, which is exactly where pornography thrives,” he said.
The cycle typically unfolds in predictable stages: temptation, use, guilt, shame, secrecy—and back to temptation again. Each repetition deepens feelings of unworthiness and reinforces the compulsion.
By contrast, confession and accountability dismantle this cycle. “The gospel tells us we are known and loved by God, even in our brokenness. When people encounter safe community where they can be honest, they begin to experience freedom,” Black said.
Accountability as discipleship
At the heart of Covenant Eyes’ approach is accountability—not as surveillance or punishment, but as a form of discipleship.
“Accountability is about walking in the light together,” Black explained. “It’s saying, ‘I’m not going to do this alone. I want someone in my life who asks me the hard questions, who celebrates victories with me, and who reminds me of the gospel when I stumble.’”
In practice, accountability often means pairing individuals with trusted allies—friends, mentors, or spouses—who can receive regular reports, ask honest questions, and encourage consistent progress. Covenant Eyes’ technology facilitates this by sending activity updates, but the heart of the process is relationship.
“Technology alone doesn’t change hearts,” Black emphasized. “It creates opportunities for conversations. Real transformation happens when people engage those conversations with grace and truth.”
He has seen this model transform lives. Men and women who once felt trapped found that, over time, the power of secrecy was broken. “When you bring it into the light, the power of secrecy is broken. And as new habits are formed and the brain is renewed, people begin to live differently,” he said.
Families on the frontlines
Black is equally passionate about equipping parents, noting that today’s children are being exposed to explicit content at younger ages than ever before.
“The average age of first exposure is shockingly low,” he said. “Parents cannot assume their children will somehow avoid it. We need to have age-appropriate conversations early, not just one awkward ‘talk,’ but an ongoing dialogue.”
He encourages parents to be proactive rather than reactive, guiding children through open discussions about technology, identity, and relationships. “If a child feels they will be shamed or punished for being honest, they will hide. But if they know their parents are safe people to talk to, they will be more likely to share,” he said.
Practical steps include using filtering tools, setting boundaries on devices, and modeling healthy digital habits as adults. “What parents do matters more than what they say. Kids are watching. They need to see integrity lived out,” Black added.
A church responsibility
The responsibility does not rest only with families but also with the church. “Churches need to talk about this from the pulpit. They need to create spaces for confession and healing. Too often, people think the church is the last place they could bring their struggle, when it should be the first,” Black said.
Why don’t more pastors address the issue directly? Black believes fear plays a large role. “Some pastors worry that if they talk about it, they’ll be accused of struggling themselves. Others don’t know how to address it without shaming people. But silence only perpetuates the problem.”
He points to growing movements where churches are intentionally breaking the silence. Some have launched support groups or partnered with ministries specializing in sexual integrity. Others have built accountability into discipleship programs, ensuring that new believers are equipped to navigate digital temptations from the start.
“We’ve seen small groups built around accountability, recovery programs started, and pastors openly acknowledging their own journeys. These are powerful signs of hope,” Black said.
A global challenge
While pornography has often been treated as a Western issue, Black underscores that it is now a global challenge. Internet access has made explicit material available anywhere, from megacities to rural villages.
“We hear from churches all over the world facing the same battle. Wherever smartphones go, pornography follows,” he said. “This is not just an American problem—it is a human problem. And the global church must respond.”
Covenant Eyes has seen its resources used in multiple languages and contexts. “The gospel speaks across cultures, and so does the need for accountability. Every culture needs safe places for confession, prayer, and discipleship,” Black added.
Stories of hope
Despite the widespread nature of the issue, Black is unwavering in his hope. He has witnessed marriages restored, leaders renewed, and young people set on new trajectories.
“I’ve seen countless people experience freedom. I’ve seen pastors step back into ministry after walking through healing. I’ve seen couples say their marriage is stronger than ever because they faced this together,” he said.
The common denominator in these stories is not human determination but grace. “Our identity is not defined by our failures. It is defined by who we are in Christ. When people begin to grasp that truth, it changes everything,” he said.
In this second part of the series, Black has outlined the scale of the problem and the pathways toward healing through accountability, discipleship, and community. In the final installment, he will share practical strategies for churches, leaders, and families seeking to respond faithfully—and explore how the global church can turn the tide on one of the most pressing discipleship challenges of our time.
